One of the days that we look forward to in our life is the day that we retire. Perhaps we have had a job for a very long time and when we retire, we are able to get some rest, enjoy our golden years and perhaps even do a little traveling. In some professions, you have to wait until you are at least 65 before you retire but if you are in the military, you can retire after 20 or 30 years of service. You might even get a bonus when you retire! In this joke, some soldiers were retiring and they were given an opportunity to choose their own bonus. One man had a solution that was hilarious.
The U.S. Army had found itself suffering from being overstaffed with soldiers. So, they came up with an idea. Any soldier who willingly resigned would get an early retirement bonus of $1,000 of every inch measured between two points on their body.
The first soldier stepped up and said, “I’d like you to measure from my head to my toes.” He walked away with $66,000.
The second soldier stepped forward and said, “I’d like you to measure from the tip of my outstretched arms, to my toes.” He walked away with $78,000.
Finally, an old vet stepped forward and said, “I’d like you to measure from the tip of my member to my b*lls” and the men in charge looked at each other with smirks on their faces.
“Sir, your contribution to the U.S army has been invaluable, and without peer. And we understand you’re probably extremely proud of your member. But men are walking away with Thousands of Dollars. Would you please reconsider this choice?”
The old man shook his head and dropped his trousers. As the man started unrolling is measuring tape, he held one end to the tip of the man’s member and started moving backward, before letting out a yell of shock.
“Good God Man!!!! Where are your testicles?”
“The old man pulls up his pants with a smirk, In Vietnam.”
Source: Tickld