Most of us probably feel that our children get in some mischief every once in a while but we don’t necessarily think of them as being ‘bad kids’. It may even come as a surprise to us if we discover that they are doing something that we would consider to be shocking. For example, how would you feel if you were suspecting your child was bullying others and you then discovered you were on the right track. You might be shocked but when it came time to handling the situation, how would you do it?
It would be important to handle the situation and most people would do so using their own parental tactics. That is what a 39-year-old father from Swanton, Ohio was faced with. His name is Max Cox and when he found out that Kirsten, his 10-year-old daughter was kicked from the bus a second time in a few months for bullying, he was not happy. She had been bullying the other student relentlessly to the point where she was suspended from the bus for three days.
She then came up with an excuse, and that only made him more upset. He decided it was time to teach her a lesson.
Kirsten was guilty of name calling and blocking another student from exiting the bus. The second time his daughter was in trouble for bullying, more serious disciplinary matters were taken by the school.
She got home from school that day and gave her dad the bus suspension. Suddenly, her father realized she was dealing with an entitlement issue, along with the obvious problem that she was a bully.
His daughter informed him that he would have to take her to school while the bus suspension was in effect. It didn’t even seem to bother her.
“I realized she viewed the privilege of riding the bus and our car rides to and from school as a right and not a privilege,” Matt said, according to News 5 Cleveland.
Matt decided that he would go another route. His daughter would have to walk 5 miles to school for three days.
While she walked to school, he would drive the car slowly behind her to ensure her safety.
“Today, my beautiful daughter is going to walk 5 miles to school in 36-degree weather,” Matt Cox, says from behind the camera.
”I know a lot of you parents are not going to agree with this, but that is all right. Because I am doing what I feel is right to teach my daughter a lesson and stop her from bullying.”
Since this video was posted, parenting experts have had a lot to say about his tactics. Most of them were not impressed, to say the least, calling it a matter of ‘public humiliation’.
Matt did receive support from other parents but there were also some who thought he went too far.
Parenting advocate, Sue Scheff, told ABC News:
‘The internet can be so unforgiving, and your child will watch it over and over again online. It’s like salt in an emotional wound, and the sting can take a long time to heal – especially when it’s a parent that did the shaming.”
Many parents on Facebook accused the father of being a bully as well.
“Matt, do yourself and your daughter a big favor, seek counseling from a qualified family psychologist/psychiatrist who understands bullying as well as the adverse impact/implications when one goes ‘public’ on social media in a big way about their child,” one Facebook user wrote.
“What are you trying to prove?” Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert and the author of “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids,” asked.
Even though he has received some pushback, he still stands by his decision. He feels the children should be held accountable for what they do. If he had to do it all over again? He says that he ‘wouldn’t do one thing differently’.
He wrote the following in a Facebook post:
”Am I a bully for making my daughter walk to school? No me holding my child accountable for her own actions and giving her a punishment does not mean I am a bully.
”It means I am a being a parent, a father trying to teach his daughter that life has consequences for our actions and that we have to be accountable for them.
”Im a dad trying to teacher his daughter it’s not ok to be mean to others because words and actions can have life long effects and sometimes life-ending effects on others.
”Lastly I’m a father trying to teach his daughter not everything is just a right there are a lot of privileges in life and that we need to be grateful for them. None of that makes me a bully,’ he added.
You might be interested in knowing that Kirsten did not have to walk all 5 miles in one morning. Matt realized she would be late for school, so she only had to do a mile and a half the first morning and he drove her the rest of the way.
She started where she left off the next morning and the 5 miles were divided into the three days that she was suspended.
Matt hopes that his example will inspire other parents to take a firm stand against bullying. He feels that it worked as he had planned.
When Kirsten sees bad behavior on TV, she now picks up on it and says: “That’s bullying that’s going to hurt somebody’s feelings.”
An apology was also given to the other student.
You can see more in this video: