One of the happiest days in anyone’s life is the day that they find out they are pregnant. It is something that many parents look forward to with eager anticipation, preparing for that day from the moment they hear the good news. Of course, we realize that their lives are not going to be the same and there are going to be some bumps along the way as well. Some of those bumps may even take place well before the child arrives, and that is what this husband spoke about on Reddit. It seems as if there was a disagreement between him and his wife and he wanted to get it straightened out with the Internet to see if he was on the winning side.
“My wife is pregnant and has told me that she wants her sister in the delivery room. She is only allowed one person, so this means I’m out and won’t be with her when she gives birth to our baby. It would be an understatement to say that I was disappointed, crushed, hurt, etc. when she told me this is what she was thinking. I had been excited about being there with her and experiencing that moment ever since she told me she was pregnant – really even since we started trying to get pregnant.”
I guess he wanted her to want him to be in the room with her, but she didn’t. “I just always assumed she would want me there. Note the distinction here between me expecting to be there versus expecting her to want me there. I am pointing this out because what’s worse than the disappointment is her rejecting me and basically telling me that she feels like someone else could give her better support while giving birth. That’s really made me feel like a POS and worthless husband and father. I’ve tried not to take it to heart or personally, but I don’t know how else to take that kind of rejection. It doesn’t help that she’s really given no reason for why she feels like her sister would do a better job of supporting her.”
He would’ve been more understanding if it had to do with the time that his wife’s sister gave birth. “I know that her sister has had kids herself, but when I asked my wife if that was part of it she said not really. I then asked her if I had done something wrong or failed in some way or if she was upset with me, and she said it wasn’t anything I’d done and she wasn’t trying to punish me. She just felt like it would be better to have her sister there. I’ve asked for clarifications and that’s as specific as she gets. It doesn’t seem like she has a real list of reasons why her sister was chosen. It’s just a feeling. Either that or she is lying to me and won’t give me the real reason.
Now he feels as if she lied to him. “I had hoped she’d change her mind, but she’s now confirmed this is how it will be. All of the things I’ve written about led me to tell her that if she really feels that way then I think it’d be better if her sister or someone else drove her to the hospital. Otherwise I’m just her taxi driver. Once she realized that I was serious she lost it and told me I was acting like a child and pouting. He feels like he’s there only to take her to the hospital. I can accept that it’s her choice, but if she doesn’t want my support in the delivery room then why would she want it on the way to the hospital or at any other time? That’s illogical, so there’s no point in me doing that either.”
The woman had enough of the arguing so she went to live with her family for awhile. “She decided to go stay with her family for a few days and since she has I am being constantly bombarded by both sides of the family and friends of ours telling me to let this go and stop being an asshole. I know they are trying to help, but I don’t think they understand the situation and just want it resolved so they can all feel better. Just looking to confirm if I am as bad as they think I am.” He said in an edit later that the woman is still with her parents and it doesn’t appear as if she’s coming back anytime soon.
Now it seems as if everything has escalated. “She confirmed what I’d guessed which is that she has no plans to come back any time soon, so someone in her family will be driving her anyway. I’m not really upset by that. I still feel it’s for the best and I think she does too. We’ll see what happens after the baby is born but I don’t think it’s likely we’ll stay together, and given our differences and differing views on marriage that may be for the best anyway. I feel like our relationship has run it course and we’re not a good fit for each other. I had already contacted a divorce attorney just to discuss a possible separation and things I might need to do to prepare for divorce, so I’ll go ahead and start making plans assuming we’re divorcing. I probably will end up doing a paternity test so I can confirm the baby is actually mind since some of your are saying you don’t believe it is.”
It will be interesting to see where this one goes.