Like it or not, the world is full of cultural changes challenging the foundations of many traditions. And when it comes to the topic of consent, I think most rational people agree that teaching adults and children to respect physical boundaries is a good thing. While we may have once regarded little boys pulling girls’ hair and trying to kiss them as innocent behavior, we’ve come to recognize that it’s something that could turn into a toxic mindset. Adults have also had to reprogram how they think about personal contact in dating situations and the workplace. Honestly, it’s not hard to not touch someone if they don’t want you to touch them, and most who complain about this likely have other issues going on.
That said, when it comes to parents, grandparents, and other family members, there’s a growing movement of parental “experts” who feel it’s time to upgrade how they physically interact with children. In other words, no grandparent should ever touch a child without the child’s expressed verbal permission, says parenting expert Deborah Gilboa, who set of a firestorm of controversy on social media after sharing her views on consent on Today.
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According to Gilboa, grandparents need to stop kissing and hugging their grandchildren without asking their permission first. She argues doing this confuses and ultimately causes harm to the child by teaching them that they do not control their own bodies.
“It’s super confusing,” Gilboa insisted on TODAY, claiming that telling kids that their bodies are their own and then allowing older relatives to kiss them without asking permission sends “mixed messages.
Gilboa believes that grandparents should never hug or kiss a child without getting the child's verbal consent first. She says that hugging & kissing a child without permission teaches the child that they aren't in control of their own body. I’m gobsmacked https://t.co/SVBR4uKfnq
— Kate🦋M© (@Kate3015) September 11, 2019
However, Gilboa isn’t alone; another parenting expert named Jane Evans, from Australia, recently echoed similar thoughts on the UK show This Morning.
Evans believes that whenever grandparents hug or kiss their grandkids without permission, this innocent act teaches children that it’s okay if others touch them without their consent.
Why should grandparents have to ask permission from the parents to hug and kiss their grandchildren? Kids are usually very happy to say who they do and don’t want to hug and kiss them. Does anyone with kids agree with this?
— caitlyn1972 (@AlwaysAnAngel72) July 31, 2019
Now, as you probably guessed, people on social media didn’t react well to this radical concept. Metro found one Twitter user who called the entire idea “absolute nonsense.”
Another Tweeter agreed and speculated that this type of thinking could lead kids to ask parents and grandparents permission before seeking physical comfort after getting hurt. He added, “Contact is a huge part of forming relationships.”
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Some sided with Gilboa and Evans, stating that young kids should be taught about consent in this manner. The Sun found one person on Twitter who mentioned how her child’s grandma always asks for permission before kissing her. She went on to explain that it should always be up to the child if they want to be touched by anyone adding, “Kids have the right to refuse.”
Do you believe this idea represents an evolution in our most basic relationships or is this political correctness run amok? You can watch the interview featuring Jane Evans in the video below.