We live in a world where traditions are often passed from one generation to the next. Some of us treasure those traditions and we couldn’t imagine a time when they weren’t being followed.
That being said, there are also times when we may come into a family as an outsider and we have to live with their traditions, which were never followed by our family. Suddenly, we find ourselves in a strange situation and we may even wonder how they could do something like that and think that it was perfectly okay.
In every family, there is something hiding underneath the surface. One man found this out all too well when his fiancée suggested that he spend the night with his mother-in-law. It seems as if this was something that was passed down in her family for generations.
Read on to find out more and to discover exactly how strange things can be.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years and engaged for one. Not too long after we had been dating she told me about her family tradition for marriages. She said that the boy must take the mother of the bride out on a date night, buy her a dress and something to sleep in, pay for everything and buy them a hotel to stay in. She said that it’s nothing to be worried or freaked out about and that getting the hotel doesn’t mean you have to sleep together (although a long time ago it did). I laughed a little bit and asked if she was serious. She said that she was. I had a hard time believing it but I didn’t care to discuss it anymore. We never really talked about it, until this past week. I had honestly pretty much forgot about it. My girlfriend and I have our wedding in less than a month. We were taking about wedding stuff and she asked me if I had picked out what her mom and I were going to do for our date night. I laughed it off and waited for her to move on. She didn’t, she looked confused as to why I was laughing. She insisted again that this was 100% serious and that she expected me to do it.
I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with doing that. I didn’t want to spend a night alone in a hotel with someone who wasn’t my girlfriend or wife. I asked her why we would have to get a hotel. She explained that a long time ago the mother of the bride would actually sleep with the boy and that it was viewed as a way to kick off the marriage. I asked if she expected me to do that. She laughed and said of course not, but that she couldn’t be upset with me if it did happen. She then said that her mother doesn’t plan to actually do anything sexual. Still kinda freaked out by the whole concept, I asked if I could just buy the mom dinner. My girlfriend got more upset and asked me why I was refusing to follow a fun tradition. I simply said that I just don’t feel comfortable with it. She said that I’m acting like a stubborn kid and that I should just have fun. I insisted that I wouldn’t do the hotel part.
She left and went on to tell her family. They have all reached out to me and asked me what is wrong with me and why I’m being such a jerk about it. The mom called me and she actually was nice about it. She said that she thinks I’m a great guy and that while she would love to have a night together, she understands that I have a right to say no. She even said that she spoke to my girlfriend about it and told her that I have that right. Nonetheless my girlfriend is still upset with me.
I will mention as well that my girlfriend and her family are from a different culture so that is probably why I’m not accustomed to this. Am I the asshole for being stubborn about continuing this tradition?
Edit: I have talked to my girlfriend more about this. I questioned her if she plans on sleeping with our son in law if we have one in the future. She said that she doesn’t plan on it, but she can’t promise what will happen. It mainly depends on the guy and what he wants to do. She said that she would tell him that I don’t feel comfortable with it.