When it comes to opinions, we all have one. Sometimes, we simply live our lives and don’t really force that opinion on anyone but, at other times, we might find that we feel a need to speak up.
It seems as if that was the case for the mother in the following story. She has adult children who are not yet married and she asked that they don’t sleep in the same bed with their boyfriend or girlfriend while staying at her house.
This really touched a nerve after it was posted on Reddit and there were people who supported both sides of the argument. Read the post below and see how you feel about it.
My daughter and her boyfriend celebrated Easter with us (me, my husband, and our son/her brother). I asked her boyfriend to stay in our guest room, as they aren’t married yet and my husband and I believe it’s inappropriate to share a bed before marriage. Neither she nor her boyfriend said anything at the time, but later it came up that they don’t visit more often because we won’t “allow” them to sleep together.
I think this is ridiculous. After all, it’s our house and our rules. My daughter agreed, but then said she’d still prefer to sleep with her boyfriend and thinks our rule is what’s actually ridiculous. She then tried to tell us that they still respect our rule. I pointed out that she was clearly lying about that since she was withholding her very presence from her own family. I said she was punishing us for having a very reasonable rule, and that she obviously doesn’t truly respect “our house, our rules”. She changed the subject then. At the end of their trip, I asked when the next we’ll see them again, and was told: “maybe the 4th of July, unless [they] make plans with [boyfriend’s] family first”. When I pointed out she was still trying to punish us (who waits three months in-between visits to their parents?), she just left.
My husband feels that I’m right and our daughter is being unspeakably rude, but my son thinks we’re in the wrong and it’s “not a big deal”.
EDIT
She’s 25 and he’s 26. They’ve been together for three years and living together for two. I didn’t include this because the rule isn’t based on their ages or if they’re cohabiting, so I didn’t think it was important. They will be allowed to share a bed under our roof once they’re married and not a second sooner.
Some people seem to think we’re upset that she’s choosing to stay in a hotel room instead of with us. This is not the case. She’s choosing to avoid seeing us at all, instead of spending time with her family.
EDIT 2
A lot of people are under the impression that my daughter and her boyfriend visit every three months – this isn’t the case at all. They usually only visit 2 or 3 times a year. I could understand before, with the pandemic, and before that they were in college, but we expected more frequent visits now that they’re not as busy. Her brother manages to see us once a month, so we know it’s not too unreasonable of an ask. But she certainly doesn’t visit every three months. If she chooses not to come in July, we won’t get to see her until October at the earliest.
Source: Reddit