Toxic masculinity is a huge problem in society and it damages communities in so many ways. Even when boys are very young, they’re told to “man up” and be tough. It seems that little boys aren’t allowed to be upset or to cry, or even to have emotions of any kind, for that matter. Apparently, showing emotion is a sign of some sort of weakness in many societies, including in the U.S. Fortunately, more and more young men are starting to realize that this system is messed up and they’re not having it. The younger generation of men is much smarter than the one I grew up in.
They’re learning that this type of thinking is damaging and they don’t want any part of it. This is what compelled one teenaged boy to stop talking to his dad for a week after his dad told him to “man up” when he was crying. The young man took to the Reddit subreddit called “Am I the A**hole” (AITA for short) to ask if he was wrong to stop speaking to his dad over this issue. The Reddit community quickly jumped to his defense, and his post received more than 14K upvotes (the Reddit equivalent of a “like”). The thing is, when someone tells a young man to “man up,” they’re saying to stop showing emotions.
According to the people who perpetuate this myth of manliness, they’re not “real men” if they show emotions. The old phrase about “see a grown man cry” is what that is all about. This is an outdated way of defining masculinity and it’s hurting generations of young men. The global suicide rate for young men is more than 3.5-5 times higher than the suicide rate of young women and experts say it’s directly related to toxic masculinity.
As one Reddit user said, “NTA (not the a**hole). He’s trying to push his internalized toxic masculinity on you. Crying is healthy, expressing your feelings is healthy. Sometimes you don’t get things you want, like making a team or getting your dream job, and it’s okay to be upset and even cry over it.”
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